I met a guy online in May, we talked a month, then met in June. He lives two hours away. He drove up in June, then again in July, and we haven’t seen each other since then. His thing is “I’m working,” and when he’s not, he says he doesn’t have enough money to come up. He is also still on the date site that we met on and says the women he chats with are just friends, and they live even further away than I. He lives alone, and just recently started seeing his children every weekend.

He says he is not seeing anyone else, that he loves me, and says he wants to be with me if I want to be with him. He says that he is working to get things together for us so that next year after my oldest graduates, I can consider moving with him. Red Flag Number One: He’s still on a dating site making “friends.” Red Flag Number Two: He wants a relationship but makes zero effort to see you. He lives alone, and just recently started seeing his children every weekend.

Red Flag Number Three: He says he loves you and wants to be with you if you want to be with him. Number Three is especially compelling because he is slimily putting his inertia on you, as in yeah, let’s keep talking every once in a while; I’ll see other people, lie to you about it, and tell you I love you until you stop putting up with it. Of course I could be wrong. Perhaps he really can’t get to a phone on weekends. Perhaps he’s always working. Perhaps he doesn’t have any money.

Here’s what I would do if I were you: I’d stop picking up the phone if and when he does get around to calling. I would tell myself the truth. That I deserve better and would have much more fun without some lame (insert your favorite expletive here) who can’t find a phone, is on a dating site, always working, and has no money. Make new male and female friends. Decide to be happy. I deserve a guy who wants a relationship. I deserve a guy who loves me and never lets me forget it.